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Can u post for me please: Ok so looking for some advise on a situation I am dea…

Can u post for me please:

Ok so looking for some advise on a situation I am dealing with. I grew up in foster care so I did not really have any family growing up. So making sure my daughter doesn’t grow up feeling the same way I did is a big deal to me. Well I have my foster parents who are wonderful n my daughter calls grandma/grandpa. My daughter is 1.5 n I am due w. My second girl at the end of July. Now my daughters “grand parents” on her dads side have never met my eldest. Her “grand father” recently passed away due to being a severe alcoholic. No one on my daughters side of the family has even met her.

A little back ground on our history: my kids dad has another child from a previous relationship who he has no relationship w. N who he doesn’t pay a single penny for. He was in prison pretty much her entire life n was physically n emotionally abusive to his daughters mom. My kids dads mom is very much involved in his other child’s life as well as his entire family. Well fast forward to now he is in jail for another few month n is legally not allowed around me or our kids due to the same exact reasons. His mom knows that we have two kids but he doesn’t have a good relationship w. His mom at all b he has pretty much ruined any chance at a relationship that I could have had w. His family before it even had the chance to start due to him filling their head w. Lies about me. His mom had cut him off because he is a full blown addict n all around danger n manipulative person to be around.

So my question is: I have been going back n fourth about whether or not I should try n reach out to his mom myself n let her know what is going on as far as her son not being involved in our lives n wanting to give her the chance to form a relationship w. Her other grandchildren. But part of me is afraid she will just reject my girls n then another part of me thinks that it isn’t even my place to say anything or reach out to her. I just feel like for my daughters sake I should at least try. Right? She is a amazing, sweet, smart n lovable little girl n she deserves to have a family.
Also to add I was with my girls father for 5 years.
& I have never met any of his family.


4 thoughts on “Can u post for me please: Ok so looking for some advise on a situation I am dea…

  • I agree with people saying write a letter. Then it’s in their hands whether they reach out to you and the kids or not. If they do then great! Take it slow and on your terms and hopefully it will all work out. If they don’t then don’t feel guilty. You gave them the option and if they throw it back in your face then leave it alone. Whatever happens I’m sure you’ll continue to give them all the love they’ll ever need x

  • I’d reach out to her in a letter if possible, just concentrate on telling her about her grandchild/children and let her know if she would like a relationship with them you’d be open to start with something simple (like maybe a visit to a local park or something similar) it’s awful to be not given the chance. But I’d be clear with her that you won’t stand for and emotional issues to do with your children, basically what you’ve said above x

  • I know how u must feel was in a similar situation I was put in care when I was 2 so when I had my daughter I made myself a promise that my kids will always feel loved and wanted and know they have a family. My eldest daughters dad went to jail an I went out of my way to get his family to bother with her an they just dont unless its a birthday an they happen to post a card in time for it to arrive. So I have just decided I will leave them to contact me now if they want to see her an if not then its their loss. My new partner an dad to my youngest and my unborn baby is brilliant with my eldest an all his family treat her like she is their grandaughter and niece. I would reach out an give them the chance to decide if they want to be there for her. An if they dont your daughter hasnt lost out you sound like an amazing mum an you are doing the best you can by putting your daughters needs first. So give them a chance but set rules in place from the start so they dont mess her around or change their minds when they feel like it. Family doesnt have to be blood related in fact I think family that isnt blood related are better as they make the choice to be there an blood relatives sometimes just feel they dont have a choice. You sound like you know what to do. So go with what you feel is right but if u want to chat send me an inbox. Like I said similar situations. Sorry for the long reply xx

  • I’d send her a letter and a photo and sit back and wait for a response. If she doesn’t respond, leave it alone forever. If she does, more family support for your girls.


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