Could I have a private post please ladies xx Reaching out to anyone with older …

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Could I have a private post please ladies xx

Reaching out to anyone with older kiddies on the spectrum please. Our 12 year old daughter has just been diagnosed as being on the spectrum. The fact that we only picked up on this once she started secondary school where the social interactions and rules are more complex means we have a host of other issues too, which are also influenced from DV that occurred by her birth father.
To give a bit of back story quickly, he was physically, mentally and emotionally abusive which she witnessed, and as she admitted to us 2 1/2 years ago to her too while I was at work. He’s been out of her life since she was 5 (court ordered) and he committed suicide a year later.
Back to now. She’s under CAMHS now for the ASD, but we also have the (currently) more important problem in that she is self harming and suicidal. She has tried and thankfully failed once already, but is very frank about the fact that she still wants to die ‘depending on her mood, which is most of the time’. She doesn’t understand emotions, I’ve tried so hard to get her to understand that we love her but to her its just words. I tried asking her tonight how she’d feel if she woke up and one of her little brothers were gone and she said ‘upset I guess but u don’t know because it’s not happened’. We don’t want to lose our daughter and I don’t know what to do now. She won’t cooperate with the psychiatrist at all therapy wise she ‘doesn’t think it’s a problem, and doesn’t understand why everyone else thinks it is’. We are going round in circles trying to get her to understand that she shouldn’t and doesn’t have to feel like this. She knows exactly how to try and manipulate people so she doesn’t have to talk, thankfully the psychiatrist can see through it.
Has anyone else been in this situation and please can they tell me that I’m not going to lose my daughter, and that she will eventually accept help!??
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