Could I private post please. This is really hard for me to write so please no ha…

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Could I private post please. This is really hard for me to write so please no harsh comments I’m just looking for advice. I have a 10 yr old daughter. She can be difficult, her attitude can be awful, she will purposefully do stuff she shouldn’t. We argue all the time. I can’t help it, she makes me so
Mad and i cry so often because of our behaviour. I don’t want to shout, I don’t want to get as angry as I do. But we are so stuck in a rut and I don’t know how to get out of it. We don’t often spend time together but when we do, it’s awful. Don’t get me wrong she is a lovely beautiful wonderful kind child, to everyone but me and dad. It’s almost like she thinks what can I do to make them angry now. I don’t know how we got here, despite what I’ve written she is so so loved and I tell her every day. But I don’t think she believes it. And I don’t believe she loves me either. I try so hard to give her a good life but I just feel like I’m failing again and again. She gets attention for good behaviour but any bad behaviour we’re back to square one. I tell her we are stuck in a circle of I shout because she’s naughty and she’s naughty because I shout which she agrees with and we talk about how she’s feeling often and for the rest of the day she’s fine. Then back to square one. Will someone please tell me how I can sort this? I need to break this cycle. I want a mother daughter relationship, one to be proud of. I’m completely ashamed of myself that I’ve had to do this. But I love her so much and she deserves so much better. I know I’m the problem.
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