Could you do a private post please, I had anorexia for 17 years including when …

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Could you do a private post please,
I had anorexia for 17 years including when I had my first born this then settled down other than the small relapse here and there. I then had my second child no issue, I am currently pregnant with my third and feel myself about to slip into another relapse. All I can think about it how much weight I’m putting on, at first I lost due to sickness and it was a huge achievement to me! I am also obsessed with thinking about how I’m going to become slim again after this baby. I won’t starve myself whilst pregnant this is more of trying to fight the voice within which is exhausting! Eating issues are very complex and I know it’s wrong to feel this way. I’ve never opened up to family or friends really about this so I don’t feel I can turn to them and I’m scared if I speak to the midwives or GP social services will become involved 😔 has anyone got any nice advice please x
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