Hello Looking for some advice…Its a bit of a long story so I’ll give you a sho…

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Hello🙋🏼 Looking for some advice…Its a bit of a long story so I’ll give you a shorter version..

I had only been with my ex for 3 months when I found out I was pregnant (he is now 5 months) but his dad left me claiming he wasn’t ready and demanded that I got an abortion, due to past medical issues I had one of my ovaries removed and I was told at the age of 18 that I would not be able to conceive naturally and would struggle with IVF so my instant reaction was of course “NO”🙎🏼

I didn’t know if I’d ever get the experience of conceiving naturally again and wasn’t about to give it all up! I told him he didn’t need to be involved and could leave completely if he wanted to, he claimed he wanted to be in his child’s life so I agreed, during the whole pregnancy he never once saw me, he spent his days taking acid, and drinking with friends, he never attended any appointments or scans, I got taken to hospital at 18 weeks with severe pains in my lower belly and light bleeding, I called him and was begging him to come with me, I was so scared and his only reply was “I can’t,I’ve just taken acid” IT WAS 4:30pm!!😡 he then decided to show up on the day that I gave birth to our son, WITHOUT HIM!👊🏼acting as if everything was ok???

Anyway, for the first two months or so he was round at my house seeing him every couple days to bond with his son,at that time I was breastfeeding so he couldn’t take him out at that point.

He then hit me with the news that he had a new job a few hours drive from us and that he would be staying away Monday to Friday, only leaving weekends to spend with his son, he then smacked me with “I want you and ***** to move away with me for a start fresh”..like WHAT?
I kindly said no to his offer, I barley knew him anymore and I’d be damned if I were to move with him with our little boy!

He then done exactly what I knew he would..on the weekends he was home for work he started drinking and taking drugs, I’d wait in every weekend for him to come see his son and he would always be a no show, I’d get a message on the Sunday night or Monday when he was back at work saying how much of an idiot he was and that next week would be “different” but it never was, he hasn’t seen his son for 3 months+ and hadn’t paid a single penny since he was born till last week😕

He’s then spat at me that he WILL be taking our son to HIS house without me NEXT weekend…
He hasn’t seen him in months, he hasn’t bought him a bed, clothes, any nappies, he doesn’t know how to make a bottle, change a nappy properly and he’s NEVER taken our son out on his own!
I told him no and that if he wants to see our son then I WILL be there, he says his mum will also be there but I still don’t feel comfortable with it, I barley know her either!!!

He thinks because he has given me money he can do as he likes, his name is not on the birth certificate as it was agreed between the both of us that once he had proven himself to be a father to our son then he would be added to it but he has failed to follow that.

Am I wrong to say he can’t see our son unless I’m there? Or am I just protecting our child? I’d like to think I’m doing the right thing, a lot of people would cut contact completely but I can’t stress enough how much I want them to have a relationship! I’m petrified our son won’t recognise him, what do I do!? 🤷🏼‍♀️
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