Hey please can I have a private post, I think it’s gonna be a long one! Sorry! …

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Hey please can I have a private post, I think it’s gonna be a long one! Sorry!

So I’ve been with my boyfriend 6 years come the end of this year, I’m now 22 and he’s a couple of years older, he’s been my only proper boyfriend and I fell pretty hard for him pretty quickly! We were both young and fun then. We bought a house together two years ago and now have a 10 week old baby together. We’ve always had a rocky relationship as we’re both quite stubborn people and he’s always been a lads lads, I see a totally different side to what they see (a soft caring one) or at least I use to. When he was young he did use to have bad anger issues, breaking windows in school, taking pen knifes in etc. Yet I’d never really been exposed to this side since he changed massively. Since having our baby he’s become so selfish and short tempered, he’s not the dad I thought he would be and I’ve slowly been falling out of love with him. He works hard and our baby is breastfed so he uses that as his excuse for not being able to do much, yet I often have to ask him to even pick her up to cuddle or ask if he minds minding her while I clean the house. He keeps on going drinking, ignores all my texts is unable to tell me when he’ll be home and then sometimes doesn’t even bother coming home and when he does he’s drunk drove! This weekend he rocked up home drunk at half four after apparently being hit and then trying to glass somebody and the previous night he came home with a cigarette burn that him and his mates all had to apparently give themselves as part of a game, because I chose to voice my opinions this time he said I should leave, yet wanted me to leave our baby with him (in his hungover sorry state! Obviously I wasn’t going to leave her with him) I use to then beg him not to fling me out, only this time I didn’t and said ‘well I’ve got nothing to lose anyway’ well that then tipped him, he kept repeating nothing to lose whilst thumping every door insight and our massive mirrored wardrobe door, whilst I was trying to peacefully breastfeeding our daughter on the bed! 😠😭 within 10 minutes I’d got up and left with our baby girl, after telling him that his heads a mess and he needs serious help once again. I’ve only been away from him for two days, yet think I still love him deep down and he’s promised to change (like he always does and then never manages to) booking in at the doctors in the hope of a referral. My parents are desperate for me to try and work things out with him for the sake of our daughter, so I feel pressured to try again for that reason, as well as him having a serious breakdown and maybe finally realising no other girl will care for him the way I do despite how he’s been treating me! Though then I feel if he does change it won’t be a permanent change and this weekend I’ve refused to let him see his daughter as I don’t feel she’s safe with her own dad 💔😭 yet feel awful for the both of them because of that. He’s also got his mother involved basically bully me over text because I’ve refused letting him see his daughter. All her kids have issues and she knows what her son can be like and even tried giving him up when he was younger because she couldn’t cope/be dealing with him, it upset me so much that she didn’t understand. I feel like him and his family have simply used me to gain a beautiful baby girl that they either want totally to themselves or not at all! Everything’s such a mess right now! Help me! 😭 xx
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