Hi can i have a private post please. I found out early december i was 5weeks pre…

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Hi can i have a private post please.
I found out early december i was 5weeks pregnant but sadly new years eve i had alot of bleeding. Called out of hours dr new years day and was told to go to epau. After i attended they told me my cervix was closed, hcg levels 3000 and all seemed ok with our baby. Bleeding got worse wednesday and went back to epau to be told hcg was 507 and we probably lost the baby. I then had to wait until friday for a scan to be told my baby had “passed” and said i was roughly 12 weeks we was devastated to say the least and i felt like i couldn’t breathe. This is our second miscarriage of 2017 and desperately want a baby of our own. I have a older child and so does he but we really want one together.
Anyway i was told on the scan they found a blood clot or the placenta on Friday and was told to wait 3 weeks to do another pregnancy test if negative all ok but if not an operation is needed which i feel is so cruel. I then asked would it be a d&c as this is what my mum had after one miscarriage and was told no but no further details given. The bleeding is still bad and now have cramps too. Has anyone had a similar case? I just feel alone, broken and empty. Me and my partner have discussed our loss and how we feeling etc but i can’t help feeling so numb. I dont want him to leave my side. Last time i wasnt even aware i was pregnant until i lost so it felt that little bit easier this time its physically and emotionally killing me we had so many plans for 2018 my big birthday his and how we was going tell family etc. I feel like i want this year over already and its just began. I dont wana make any plans or do anything. How can i stop feeling this way? I dont want to see anyone or go anywhere i have 4 weeks off work but so worried about going back and facing people who now know our story. (Had to tell work when going on sick) any help or advise would be greatly received. Thank you
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