Hi can I please have a private post? I’m lost I just don’t know where to turn i…

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Hi can I please have a private post?
I’m lost I just don’t know where to turn in asking for advice. I work within children’s services and have asked professionals for advice but to no avail I’m at my wits end! My soon to be 13 year old boy is so defiant, he constantly sneaks on console/iPad/phone in the middle of the night, I know this doesn’t sound bad, but it is! It’s causing me to really resent my son. I’ve tried everything, he’s had everything taken away for as long as 3 months sometimes, been grounded, given extra chores and only gets them back when we feel it’s earned, recently we gave them back as we thought he earned them back due to better behaviour and attitude yet again last night he took the iPad from my bedroom and was caught using it at 11pm and totally lied to my face about it, hid it under the bed and denied he had even seen it! I have asked my family if he can stay with them as I really just can’t look at him right now, is it possible he has some sort of addiction? He is allowed time on consoles etc but it’s is restricted – 2 hours a night after homework, more on a weekend. This has been going on for about 4-5 years now and it doesn’t change, after a couple of days after having the privileges back he does this. Last year at Christmas I threatened that he wouldn’t get anything but again he was given presents, again his birthday is January and he had his party cancelled due to the same problem I nearly gave in but I stayed strong as I felt it was a big thing to loose, clearly made no difference as here we are again! I’m seriously thinking of not giving him anything this year as a dramatic stance as I honestly don’t know what else to do to make him learn. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Just a note I looked into a possible PDA diagnosis when he was still at primary school but the school dismissed this. If I’m honest I just feel he is a brat.
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