Hi can I please have a private post? …
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Hi can I please have a private post? So today I had a phone call from my daughter’s school (she’s 12 ) to say that she had confided in a teacher that she has cut herself.the reason she gave to the teacher was that she is “stressed” and having a hard time of it with another child (her ex bff) I was beyond devastated but composed myself and picked the kids up and when we came home me and my partner spoke to her and checked for the cut and there was 3 cuts she had made with a razor she got very upset as did we and she apologised and said she was sorry but has had enough of this girl bullying her I’m going into the school on Monday to discuss further but I honestly don’t know what to do or how to help her she is very loved and we have a happy home life I need help with how to deal with this any help would be great thankyou x
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The best thing is that she’s confided in someone and she’s had a chat with you communicating is the hardest bit but best start to helping her. Counselling great idea. She knows you’re there for her now you need other ways for her to expel that stress, chat times, writing / drawing feelings. In some cases squeezing an ice cube releases the stress through pain without causing any damage.
I home educate my son so not sure on school policy anymore, but do they get sick leave like an adult would with work if she had a Drs note?
Also maybe a sit down with ex bff parents to discuss what’s happening and see if they can reconcile?
If it’s getting her down consider counselling for her as it may help to discuss her feelings with some that isn’t mum or dad. She is a pre teen so it’s all going on! I’d also be dealing the bullying my telling the school to sort it or sort it yourself! Kids need to stop being cruel to each because they were friends once. Might not be now but they were friends once and sounds like this girl needs reminding of that! X
The good thing is she has told someone,so sounds like a cry for help. Would she be able to have some one on one time with you ,something you both could do together this weekend ? It will help her to remember there is a whole world outside of school. She will be feeling very down about herself right now so keeping reminding her of how strong and intelligent she is may help stop her from reacting in a way that she hurts herself. I hope this helps xx
Hey a diary or a pad for her to write things down and then you or dad can respond to get her without her having to actually say it to you if you get what I mean as it’s hard or if she didn’t want to show you rip it up after x
I’m going to say maybe sending her to self defence class might help wit her protecting herself and to give her that boast in confidence and in the mean time talk to the school see what can be done, are they in the same classes then separate them etc
Please seek advise from camhs my daughter does this for different reasons and they help find different coping strategies for her… keep strong though xx
Go straight to the parents rather than the school (cut out the middle man) deal with it direct get things sorted faster for you x
As someone with experience on your daughter’s end she may be feeling completely isolated through no fault of your own, she can be surrounded by family and feel alone. Try and encourage her to talk about how she feels more, even if it’s she’s upset over something that may seam silly and little.
Also keep an eye out for more self harming and anything that may seam out of the ordenary like taking super long baths, it may be a one time thing but you need to be vigilant about it.
As horrible as it sounds after telling my friends about mine when I was younger they told me other ways to get the “sensation” without actually harming so if it does continue maybe that’ll be something worth looking into. (For your sake I hope it stops though)
I know it’s drastic thinking but a teens mind is wired differently to ours and can’t see that the pain she’s going through now will stop.
If you need to pm I’ll answer anything you want to know. If not I hope you get everything sorted for your whole familys sake xx
Oh no I’m so sorry to hear this poor girl try asking her to keep a diary of the issues so that you can act on them as and when needed have a code word so she can speak to you in private
She’s made the first step by talking 💕 as long as she knows she has your support then things will start to get better 💞 xx
As long as she has your support she will come out the other end of this. Xx