Hi private post please not baby related but just need some advice off you ladies…

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Hi private post please not baby related but just need some advice off you ladies. I’ve been split up with my ex now since February but I can’t seem to move forward. I went through a lot of emotional abuse to the point I wouldn’t leave the house because I was too scared. He use to turn up in the pub whenever I went for a drink with my friend, he dragged me out the house at 4AM demanding I leave because he couldn’t get his own way (we lived together) I was constantly accused of cheating even though I found a message to another woman on his phone, he threw my bag, phone & keys onto the street which is a busy road, called me all sorts of names, told me it’s my fault if he commits suicide, one night in an argument he shouted at me in front of his friend “it’s your fault you got sexually abused when you was younger because you’re a fucking whore” baring in mind I was 5 at the time. As you could imagine this didn’t go down well I was sat there crying my eyes out and he got his phone out and started recording me and laughing about it with his mate. That same night his mate tried it on with me, I had picture proof of texts and he believed his mate over me. He would control me, manipulate me, bully me and it finally ended with him cheating on me and he’s now still with the girl. I just can’t seem to get past this abuse, I don’t know if it’s the fact I can’t get over him or can’t get past the abuse. I’ve only just come to light with the fact it’s emotional abuse (somebody told me) and he has a narcissist personality disorder. I think I was just in denial with it being abuse. I’m just wondering would going to my GP help to get past it all if I ask with counselling? I don’t want him to find out I’ve asked for help because I know I will only get more abuse. He has really traumatised me! No bashing please, thankyou xx
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