my partner is asian , im your normal white catholic girl not that religion makes…
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my partner is asian , im your normal white catholic girl not that religion makes any difference! Ive never met his family and when I found out I was pregnant he didn’t want to tell them through fear of what it would do to his mum. While I was pregnant , his ex got in contact and caused a whole heap of trouble which is now going through court. I had a social worker at my door last week to tell me under no circumstances should his ex to be near our baby ( not that she ever would be ) and today I was told by my health visitor that obviously she’s threatened to harm our child etc if social work have been to tell me to stay clear. He’s not accepting this as he believes she wouldn’t do that . our baby is 5 months old , I still haven’t met his mum as he ” likes to keep everything separate ” but I know it’s not that , they won’t accept me for not being the same as them. It hurts me a lot and his answer every time is why does that upset you? I always say what happens next with us if your family don’t like me and he always hits out with – im my own person I do what I want but it’s clearly not the case He feels I’m putting him in a position , but I don’t feel I am. I don’t feel comfortable with my baby going to a place with people I don’t know but he thinks I’m holding the baby back .. but after everything with his ex im right to be a bit panicked by this! somebody tell me I’m not being paranoid?? and what to say to make him understand me , before I walk away for good. Feel like I’m banging my head against a wall! I’ve said time and time again hes leading a double life but again he’s telling me I’m making a problem when there isn’t one! any help would be great thanks x
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You’re not being paranoid
Unfortunately to me it sounds like you should walk away from him!
You have been told my ss that his ex is not to be anywhere near your child but how do you know if you let him take the child somewhere without you being there that this ex isn’t going to be there?!?
You risk losing your child!
Sorry to say it but to me it sounds like he is living a double life and this ex is part of it
Get out of it now and make you and your baby happy, you’re all that matters x
If he hasn’t introduced you to his family by now, with a baby, he isn’t going to. You need to decide if it is so important to you that you would risk losing him. Baring in mind that he knows that they won’t accept you and he doesn’t want to lose you or them. You are effectively asking him to choose between the woman he loves and the family he loves. He probably sees that keeping you separate is the only way to maintain both relationships. Why do you want to meet people who will not accept you. I actually feel for him in a way. Can you not just leave things the way they are? Or is it essential that you are introduced to them and potentially risk them rejecting you and hurting you and pushing him into a corner
I would give him an ultimatum, either he introduces you and your child to his family or he gets out of your life for good! How mean, he’s having his cake and eating it, many mixed races now have children together,it’s the 21st century, not the dark ages, his mum needs to let him be his own person and he needs to be man enough to stand up and show his family that he isn’t afraid of what they say and, in fact, can meet their beautiful grand child. Some men just need to grow some balls and stop living in their mother’s pockets – my husband included!
Also is his name on birth certificate if so if relationship does break up how can you be sure him or another family member doesn’t take your baby abroad keep a open mind but think of everything that could happen I would be very cautious till you know his family properly x
I’d get rid he obviously will never introduce you to his family, you will always be a secret. He’s probably not even told you’re family you’re pregnant. How do you know how ex is not his wife and that’s why she’s kicked off . Either way for you’re child’s safety stay well away
Please take this advice run for the hills. You will always be his dark secrete. There is a problem. His family will never know about you if they haven’t been told.by now it will never happen. He most likely is already married to a girl back home xxx
Hi Hun he probably is not telling his family not because ur Asian but coz he wants his cake and eat it. He probably will marry someone his family arrange and keep u on the side. You know his family might accept you but most Asian guys just don’t want to tell them, it’s the 21st century so family’s are good with accepting people want to marry there girlfriend. Tell him to tell his family or you walk away, why should u be a secret your worth more than that. You have just had his child tell him to be proud to be with u or walk away you and ur baby don’t need someone like that. Find out if he’s not already married or try and contact one of his siblings tell them about u and ur child if he sticks up for u than it’s worth giving it a go if he dose not u think about you and ur child. Good luck Hun x
Married to an Asian man myself .. He needs to tell them or you need to leave. He may already be married or expected too marry and you’d never know. If he loves you he would simple X
He’s the problem. He doesn’t want to introduce you to his family but he will your child? (I know its his child) and why would his ex be around your child? Ever? Im confused. Sack him off! sounds like he’s having his cake and eating it. Xx
I wouldn’t either if he can’t man up and introduce you both together to his family tell him to get lost if he’s not ashamed he can prove it
Being half white and asian myself i can fully understand ur predicament. Unfortunately in asian culture a child before marriage is a big no no. So he is probaly worried he may get stick off his parents for being with you and not married you yet u have a child. Tbh he should of known better himself coming from an asian family and how they work. They wont accept you because ur white. Its more than likely because ur not muslim. Which doesnt make it any easier im afraid. Only thing he needs to do (if ur willing) is get a local imam to read ur nikah (islamic marriage) its not counted in English law but would probaly help his side of family slowly come to the idea that he is now “married” to you and may be easier for you all meet and get to know each other. Hope this helps xx
Is she his ex girlfriend if so why is he defending her seems odd or is she the arranged marriage part of his life that he doesn’t want you to find out about tell him you are prepared to take their rejection just to meet them at least once so you know that your little one will be ok but through experience of a friend in a mixed Asian relationship there’s always a double life if families are being kept apart tell him you will walk away if he doesn’t man up for the sake of his baby x
You no he will never tell his family I made that mistake 6 years of my life when I fell pregnant the first thing out of his mouth was get rid
So let me get this straight he thinks his family being racist towards the mother of his child is ok and he thinks your child being around racist who define the child’s mother as a non entity is ok. WALK and don’t look back. Spineless idiot that he is.
He will never introduce you to his family and baby or no baby he will marry one of his own please believe me I have seen it happen to many times I think you should walk away from him and take your baby with you you need to be strong and move on you are wasting your time with him. Xx
he’s obviously taking the baby to see his ex! that’s obviously why social work has turned up to your door.
Give him a 2 choices he either tells his family. or he leaves and doesn’t bother getting in contact again. don’t be used as a mug. make sure u do this with a family member or friend there.
He’s obviously not his own person and you should be paranoid.
he’s hiding the fact of who you are. Don’t put your child at risk. no man is ever worth losing your kid.
If that was me I wouldn’t even let him see his family at all until I had met them, that baby is half you yet they want to him yet won’t accept you when u have done nothing wrong x
Nope not paranoid at all.
You have a baby together. They are your child’s grandparents etc. Regardless of religion, he’s made a baby, he needs to step up and be a bloody man about it!
It’s 2017!
Don’t be afraid to let yourself find better xx.
Ive been all through this was with a asain guy 3 yrs had a baby and he’s vanished and no1 nos me or baby ever existed sounds harsh but he’s prob never going to introduce u
He doesnt want to tell family about you. But feels your holding baby back? And i dont want baby to be around ppl u dont know… as in his family? Where is he saying this baby has come from. You are in one hell of a situation that you need to be out of x
he didn’t introduced u before having a baby .. he defiantly ain’t going to now it’s gone too far. he’s not gonna tell his mum.’i want you to meet my girlfriend and our baby’ let’s face it. it sounds dodgy. walk away from him
If I were you Hun he wouldn’t be taking my baby anywhere just incase he didn’t bring the baby back or his ex seriously hurt the baby also if that was to happen as you’ve been told to keep baby away even if your not there they will hold you both responsible coz of what they have previously told you x and it’s easy for people to tell you to leave but not so easy for you to actually leave but just try your best to be brave and think of your baby hope your okay and get sorted x
Kick him to the kerb, if he isnt proud to be with you then u deserve better and so does your baby
Why would you want to be part of a clearly racist family😕
I’m with an Asian, 3 years after we met I got pregnant he didn’t want to tell his family but they found out. I don’t really have anything do with them but we now have 3 kids and they see them every week. Best thing to do is go tell his parents he will be worried my partner was the same but they need to know.