Not baby related, sorry! Just looking for a bit of advice…. I’m 22 years old a…

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Not baby related, sorry! Just looking for a bit of advice…. I’m 22 years old and of those years, my mum has been a heroin addict for 21 of them. I have been incredibly fortunate in my life as I was removed from her care aged five, I’ve since been passed about between the family and spent 3 years with a foster carer who had 5 other children so felt like a care home really. That was the least pleasant stint of it all really. I lost my dad aged 9 to heroin. I’ve always had a relationship with my mum, and from the age of 15 I was able to go and visit and sleep over and have unlimited access with her etc. She lives in a different city to me after being released from prison when I was 13. She managed to hide the full extent of her using up until about 2-3 years ago, I’m completely at a loss as what to do. It terrifies me, since losing my dad I have an awful irrational fear about losing people. If I can’t get hold of her for more than a few days I send the police round to do a welfare check. She just will not help herself. She always gets involved with some other drug addict and they become using partners, man or woman. They move into her house and this is when it gets really bad. She’s 42 and I just don’t know how long I’ve got left with her. The thing I can’t get my head around is I can either cut ties with her and stop the heartache but then I know when ‘that’ call does come, I’ll hate myself for having not made the most of my time with her. But at the same time its ruining my life being so stressed about her 😞
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