Please post anonymously LONG POST! So I recently found out I’m 8 weeks pregnant …

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Please post anonymously LONG POST!
So I recently found out I’m 8 weeks pregnant with my second child and I don’t know how I feel about it I’m even more confused as since having my daughter I’ve been under a consultant for a hysterectomy as I’ve been told I am not able to have kids after my organs shut down while giving birth last time:
When I was pregnant with my 1st who is now 3 it was an awful pregnancy and after she was born it took me a long time to to bond with her I really struggled with post natal depression as well as PTSD from multiple traumas of my childhood. It got so bad that my husband had enough of my depression and became abusive and our relationship ended 2 years ago and it was only last year I was mentally and emotionally ok Again me and my daughters bond is perfect now. I am now with a new person and this pregnancy is his first and he is extremely excited I on the other hand have become depressed again and low and not sure if I really want to have another child after how bad it effected me last time and I have my daughter to think of this time. I don’t want to hurt my partner but I don’t want to relapse either. Advice please
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