Pp please. Where do i start! So im a young mum (16) 26 (soon) iv had a crap upbr…
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Pp please. Where do i start! So im a young mum (16) 26 (soon) iv had a crap upbringing. My mums a alcoholic has been since i was 9. To witch iv been bringing up my little sister whos now 15 (She lives with him). Cut story short. Iv got 3 kids of my own coming(9) (5) (1). Im litreally at my wits end! None of my kids are actually listning to me. Just the simple things. I have rules in my house they just choose not to go by them. I tidy there room up every day coz they just litreally chuck thigs and leave them. And then they moan they cant find nothing. My son is old enough to no the simple things like turning hes light off and closing the door. He dont actually move things to look for them hes just stands there and stares. Its them silly little things. But im at my wits end where i just feel like and i think in my head what would it be like if i actually just up and went nobody would actually care. Like why do i even bother coz no1 actually listens to me. Iv got depression anxity you name it! (bcoz where i live) non of my family help. I just really dont no where to go from here. So i suppose my question is… where do i go from here? The kids dont actually take me seiously. Iv tryed reward charts tv off no luxurys you name it. They just laugh in my face. Im at my wits end. Im prob overacting but thisnis how i actually feel. I give up!
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I learnt this. You need to get tough if they make their room a shithole don’t tidy it for them tell them if they want to live in a pigsty they can and close the door. My son does the whole ‘i can’t find it’ I just tell him tough you’ll have to go without till you can be bothered to look your big enough to do it yourself and I’m the end he will. Kids aren’t stupid they know if they carry on for so long you’ll give in,just remember your the parent and you can do this!!
With your 9 and 5 year old DONT do there rooms! They are old enough to clean them themselves and them doing it will soon make them realise your there mum not their slave! That’s why they do it coz they know u will sort it! Calmly sit them down and tell them what needs to happen (listening, help tidy, homework etc etc) and find a suitable punishment but don’t give into them. When u have free time make sure you do fun things even if its just watching a film or drawing. It really do sound like they are every other child on the planet! But if they take you seriously they should be a bit more helpful xx
Just wanted to say ur not alone some days I use to feel the same think most mums do Hun it’s hard we try our but bit kids think they no it all do as the other lady’s say don’t clean there room r if it goes on to long but it in a black bag the send them to there room until they release there wrong if there ain’t out in there rooms they release mum nos best ( well some times lol ) xxxx
It’s hard but get really tough with them. My eldest (just turned 4) thought she could get away with talking to me like shit and shouting in my face. Did naughty step she just laughed so I started bargin toys up. They all got bagged up and she had a chart to earn them bk. She kept saying I did this can I have a toy. I asked her who was in charge and that we decide if the behaviour is good enough for stickers and a toy bk. A little shouting at them does no harm just don’t make it a regular thing.
My daughter is 6 and I’ve been tough with things like that from day 1. For example if I ask her to put her teddies on her bed that I have made and she doesn’t she know they will just go in the bin (I’ve only ever had to get a black bag but the threat is enough). She does try the whole but I don’t know where it goes so I just stand in her room and direct her. Amazing how quick they start to look after things when they realise they ain’t going to get it done for them. Your 9 year old is more than capable of tidying and looking for things so I’d just go with the concept if they loose it it’s tough.
My girls are the sane 14 and 12 so I bagged everything and told them I binned the lot and for lights I took the bulbs out safe to say they dont leave lights on now and they have gained sine stuff back xx