Private post please!? I need help, I need some serious help in sorting my head …

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Private post please!?
I need help, I need some serious help in sorting my head out. Back story with my partner 10 years, 2 children, he was violent to me, controlling, a liar and a cheat. I decided a couple months ago to get rid for good! I wasn’t even upset I was so happy, I didn’t want to talk to him I didn’t want to see him. I was just so happy being single and getting my life back, now this week I find out he has a new girlfriend and all of a sudden I want to talk to him, see him?! I’m upset? Like what the hell? I was happy!
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