You Know It’s A Bit Hot When…
YOU KNOW IT’S “A BIT HOT” WHEN…
… literally every second person you meet greets you with the words “Ooh, bit hot, isn’t it?”
… Tesco is rammed with people wearing less clothing than general decency should strictly require, fighting over the last packet of ice pops.
… are you even anyone if you haven’t spent your weekend putting up an oversized paddling pool, which then takes circa three days to fill and is used precisely once before it starts pissing down with rain.
… you go to B&Q to buy a fan, and realise that not only has every other person in the known universe had the same idea, the value of fans has been raised to the point that, gram for gram, they are currently outperforming pure gold.
… you diligently apply suncream and, without fail, miss a patch and are destined to spend the next week with part of your anatomy glowing so brightly red it can probably be seen from space.
… day drinking is completely acceptable at any hour, because it’s sunny, and, let’s face it, here in Britain the next 48 hours are probably going to end up being our entire summer.
… ditto ice cream eating.
… you can’t start a conversation with anyone over the age of 50 without them telling you about the Great Summer of 1976 and how it was so hot everyone was out frying eggs on pavements.
… every night you are required to confront the dilemma of whether you should lie on top, underneath, or with one leg out of the duvet; knowing that anything other than fully under the duvet will leave you undoubtedly cooler, but almost completely unprotected from monsters.
