Before I had kids, I was a social butterfly. I had all kinds friends & was invited to everything. I was available to hang, I would always drive over to someone’s house to hang out. It was a good time. I was available. I had no responsibilities. People used that to their advantage.
Fast forward to being married with children. Life changes. I have priorities. I can’t just “come hangout”. The babies have nap routines, I have school pickups, the kids have sports. I have to find time for my husband. I need to clean, cook & do loads on top of loads of laundry. I’ve become socially awkward because I don’t get much adult interaction, I spend my days watching Paw Patrol & Bubble Puppies.
Let’s not forget about those who work a lot with or without kids or a spouse. Trying to make it, working overtime. Single people, single parents or even married couples on one income. Shoot, in 2018, married couples on 2 incomes have to work to death because well, it’s expensive to live, bosses work you to death & well, taxes (imagine if we actually got to take home our gross pay, not the after tax net 😒)
I’m not available anymore. I’m not the fun, free person you knew… my fun style has shifted. I’m not of use anymore to some. Friendships start fading away & disappearing. You hear “oh you never come out and have fun”, “I never see you anymore”. Yes, you are right. You don’t. Because I stopped coming to you, but did you know it would both ways? You can actually come to me? Maybe, come to my house and visit me. Come see the kids, come to a game.
Hanging out and being friends doesn’t mean you can only be kid free to hang. It doesn’t mean drinking & partying is the only way to have fun. (Yes, sometimes a kid free night is good) Finding friends who understand your priorities is the best thing. Friends who understand that life happens and you may not talk or see each other for weeks or months but when you do, you pick right up where you left off.
Your circle WILL change. Your circle WILL become smaller and that’s ok. Remember, it’s the quality of your friendships, not the quantity of friends!
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