can I have a private post please i really need advice ladies! long post ahead …
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can I have a private post please
i really need advice ladies! long post ahead so i apologise in advance. basically my son’s dad txt me at 10am yesterday saying he just finished work and he was gonna go home have a shower then make his way down to have him, i replied with ok. well anyway i made plans with my friend because i haven’t seen her in so long assuming my ex was going to his nans (he always takes oliver to his nans saturday and sunday because his admitted to me he cant cope with him on his own) then my friend suggested dropping oliver off at exes so i phoned him and told him to see if it was ok then he told me that he weren’t sure because he was going clubbing on the night and i said whats that gotta do with having oliver knowing he drops him off at 5 and he said well i need to get ready and stuff but i still want him for a bit so bring him down. took him down completely confused to why he would need to get dressed at 4-5 to go to clubbing much later. anyway we got there and got oliver in the pram got him to sleep while he was in the pram then my ex decides to tell me he would be dropping him off to at 2.30 it was already 12.30 at this point to which i replied with (trying to keep my cool and be civil) well whats the point in you having him I’d rather take him with me and he said no i still want him for a hour or so. to this point i was fuming inside. then because i was confused i asked why was he dropping him off at 2.30 when clubs don’t open till 9 and he said well i need to get ready then meet the guys around 6 and i said so in other words your going to the pub first and he said yes and i said why didn’t you just say that in the first place. he didn’t respond. then i was telling my friend all about it in the car as i told her to wait in the car for me and she couldn’t believe it and she said what you gonna do and i said because he knew i had every intention of going shopping for oliver (i told him wednesday night) i feel like he did it on purpose also it seems drinking is more important than having his son so if thats the case he isn’t having him tomorrow no way (today) so i txt him after he dropped him off because we were 5 minutes late and couldn’t be bothered to wait for us he knocked on my door and asked my mom to have him! which i was upset about because she was sleeping as she worked the night before and its not her responsibility. so i txt him saying have fun, see you next Saturday to which he replied with why not tomorrow and i replied with me and oliver have plans. what should i do? i feel like his calling the shots and im not having that because he only sees him an hour Wednesday and 5 hours on a saturday and 5 on a sunday. i need advice ladies please im trying to be friendly around him but his making it so damn hard. i hate to think what his told his nan and mom about not bringing oliver today no doubt making me out to be the monster.
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Not a lady but really he doesn’t sound like a real father, a real dad wants to spend time with his offspring not go clubbing with mates sounds like he needs to grow up and start taking responsibility!
You’re being a dick. We’re all entitled to go out and do stuff without our children. He should have told you before rather than springing it on you but he clearly wants to see his child and you’re just being a righteous bitch. If he’s doing it every weekend then it would be a problem but he clearly isn’t otherwise you would say. Suck it up and just ask for more notice in future so your plans aren’t messed about. Don’t punish your son because you’re butt hurt your plans were cut short.
If he doesn’t agree to times that’s when you need to be assertive with him and potentially threaten court! At the end of the day he if he wants to be a proper dad he needs to stand up and be there for your child if he’s not willing then it shows he is not a role model you want for your little one
You’re not being a dick- that’s just rude. He doesn’t see your son for the majority of the week and wants to cut the visit short last minute so he can go out and get drunk. Yes parents are entitled to time away from the children, and time for themselves, but seeing as he barely sees his son all week, surely this woman is entitled to make other plans? I say, tell him to stick to the agreement, give you more notice in future, or take it to a mediator or court. If he wasn’t overly bothered about having his son when he was supposed to, he can’t get angry with you for taking a day for you and your son.
Agree with all comments on your post bar one, I’m thinking that one comment the poster may be related to your ex hence why their on the defensive 😂
Being a dick???? OMG. Righteous!!!!!! What planet are you on madam. Dont be so rude with your comments. He was supposed to have him for 5 hours and managed 2 and a half!!!! Thats letting the child down. So why shouldnt she be dificult. i wouldve done the same. If he wants to see the baby he should stick to access and make plans after his time with the baby
He should be having his son over night at least once a fortnight so u get a bit of time for yourself and so he can spend proper time with his son he’s bang out of order cutting the time short to go get pissed with his mates he could have met them at 7 didn’t have to be so early and I would be fuming if I was u
First of all i would say if its a one of let it slide set firm times and tell them he has to stick to them you have to make plans around your child so should he.
U need set times and drop offs and write them down stick to them. If need be get some1 sit and mediate he is callin shots but ur kid needs a routine.
Your 100% in the right. If he can’t work his nights out around the 11 hours a week he sees his son then you shouldn’t need to bother!!!
Agree with other comments. Write down and agree to set days and times. Then that’s the times he has him, if he is going out etc it’s up to him to arrange alternatives.
I think every parent would love a break i bloody sure do!! since my son born ( hes 3 ) i have not had a night out no one has had him over night even though i love him with all my heart every parent wants to let there hair down and he still sees his child not likes hes not bothering tbh i think your kind of using your child as a weapon he wants to see his kid and you said no becuase he went out? You can have a night out if you wanted to he can always look after his child your over reacting but its good your being civil
Take it to court. X
Court best option 👍