Could I please have a private post? I’ve been split from my ex almost a year,it…

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Could I please have a private post?
I’ve been split from my ex almost a year,it was a terrible split,he’s always been controlling and possessive and he really didn’t take the split well,I was close to reporting him to the police for harassment at one point,he was bombarding me with texts and calls,some begging to get back then some nastier messages when I refused. At the worst point I contacted a local organisation which helps victims of domestic abuse and I’ve been having regular meetings with them. They’re now saying I should go for residency of our child (he always used to say he’d take our child from me if we ever split and has said upsetting things to our child since the split). The thing is that he actually hasn’t done anything or kicked off for about 6 weeks now,he knows nothing about the plans for residency etc yet,he’s been pretty decent lately and it’s making me feel so guilty,he texts me as friends at the moment, I know this is because he still wants to get back,he still tells me that he loves me etc,I make it clear that it’s not what I want and I know that upsets him and he does go moody and blame me for him being so upset,doesn’t stop him trying though, I just feel like what if he’s over the worst and isn’t going to kick off anymore,then in the back of my mind I think what if I drop the whole residency idea and he does kick off again and I’d have messed up my chance for help then. I’m not in love with him anymore but I can’t help caring,I feel sick at the thought of him receiving a letter about it which would be out of the blue for him and it makes me feel like I’m being sly but there have been some really awful periods since our split,he’s even tried to talk our child into living with him in the past which I know our child 100% doesn’t want.
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