Can I have a ppp, Hi ladies This isn’t baby related, I’ve been in awful pain…

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Can I have a ppp,

Hi ladies
This isn’t baby related,
I’ve been in awful pain in my abdomen since October, the hospital have done lots of tests i.e. Colonoscopy, sigmoidoscopy, stayed in hospital on a gynaecology ward. They can’t seem to find out what is causing the pain, I can’t sleep properly, I’ve been on so many pain killers, I have depression too, and this is making me a lot more depressed, I gave up my job in November because I didn’t know when I could return to work, I can’t do much I’m either sleeping or to drugged up to move, I cry all the time because I hate relying on people to help me when I’ve always been so independent, my mum comes and helps cook and clean when my husband is at work, sometimes she has to pick my lb up from school, I have been with my hubby 20 years and we have 3 kids together, boy aged 16 doing his exams he shouldn’t have to come home from school and do the cleaning for me, a girl 15 next week she has autism and adhd, she’s so helpful and really does try to look after me, sometimes it’s such a struggle with her, and a little boy nearly 11, he’s starting to show signs of autism, lines his toys up, chews on his clothing, loves the feel of soft fabrics, it’s all so hard, I’m tired of being in pain for so long.some pain relief works for a bit then starts to be ineffective, I can’t seem to fight this anymore I’m 35 and walking around on crutches because the pain is so bad I can hardly walk without them, I wake up before 6am , time I do sleep but some night’s I just stay awake all night.I feel like I’ve failed my husband and my kids, we have lost my wage now so money is tighter,I’ve been refused pip and can’t claim any other benefits as my oh earns to much, I feel like I’ve just given up,like whatever happens just happens, I’m so down I cry everyday, I’m on morphine patches and tramodol, but I’m never completely pain free, the only thing I do is go to see my mum or she comes to mine, I can’t do anything with my kids I hate it, I should be able to look after my family! My oh does what he can but I feel like he’s starting to resent me, he’s probably not but it’s just how I feel, he works long hours then has to come home and cook and do the washing and ironing, I feel like such a burden, the next step with the doctors is to check my bladder, my blood work always comes back indicating there’s infection in my body they just can’t seem to find where, I’m not sure why I’m posting I just need to get if off my chest,
Please no bashing
Thanks ladies
😢😢
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