Can I have a private post please? Just looking for advice/opinion! Today I took …
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Can I have a private post please?
Just looking for advice/opinion!
Today I took my child out to activity centre and he met his cousin for a play.Both children have needs.Mine is extremely hyperactive but has a pleasant nature.I encourage him to always try and treat others the way you would expect to be treated.If my son was to hurt another child I would explain his needs but not excuse his behaviour and I would expect him to apologise.
I had owner approach me and ask me was this my child (nephew) and I said no and pointed out his parents.He(10) had lashed out at another younger child.Choked him and left scratches/marks on his neck.Manager went over and said to them if it ever happens again – you will no longer be welcome here.They just sat there.Boys ran back on to carry on playing.I said to them where are the parents – don’t you think you should go and apologise.I told them I’m going to leave.They did eventually get their son and went over and said sorry both boys have issues.They walked out and even though my son wasn’t near said child I still said sorry to the mother about her son getting hurt.She showed me his neck.Anyway once outside nephews (mother)got angry and said he has every right to play like any other child.Why should we leave and what am I supposed to do lock him away.I said no,I understand how hard it is but think if another child had left marks on your son.You would not be happy.She then was saying he may have done it in retaliation but then said he has done it a number of times to teachers at school.School are very firm and tell him it’s unacceptable behaviour.They handle him well and encourage positive interaction.Anyway she had a rant about the boys parents bringing up their race/ethnicity.I felt disgusted.She was going on saying we shouldn’t leave and bow down to them.Anyway she then went the shop and bought him sweets!!!!
I do fully understand his needs but they spoil him,consultant said they need to implement firm boundaries.They always make excuses and say he can’t help it but he just laughs about the things he does.
My question is would you let your child continue to play with him?
They only get together on occasion(school holidays) and enjoy seeing one another.He has no friends (sad) and other moms are reluctant to let him play with their children.He was removed from his old school because he went to attack other child with scissors.He threatened to take a knife on school transport.They always excuse his behaviour.His new school is meeting his needs and say they can manage his behaviour.
When I say cousin it’s twice removed on other side of the family not mine.I said today it’s best we don’t go play centre anymore.Maybe park or bowling where we are able to watch kids more closely.Think I offended her.I wasn’t nasty in anyway.I do have concerns.I don’t want my son thinking this is acceptable behaviour.Also worry in case he suddenly got aggressive with my son.Am I overreacting or in the wrong?
Your thoughts ????
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I think regardless of the other boys needs you need to think about your own child. If you believe that at any point your child could get hurt or could start to mimic his behaviour I think you are well within being reasonable to limit contact and have it somewhere that you feel is more appropriate and where you can have eyes on your child more. If she is offended by this then that’s her problem not yours. Your main priority is your child not looking after her feelings. Plus you shouldn’t have to be put in a position where you feel the need to apologise for her child’s behaviour. Weather a child has needs or not she should have been more than willing to apologise. If not just because it’s the right thing to do but to educate people a little more on why he behaves the way he does. She didn’t need to be so offended by having to apologise.