Can i please have a private post. Please mummies i just need some re assurance…

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Can i please have a private post.

Please mummies i just need some re assurance that im not a shit mum as i really feel like i am. Ill try to keep it short..

Basically i am having problems with my 4 year olds behaviour and i have done since he was 2. He is currently waiting for a referal to cdc to see a specialist.
I really struggle with his behaviour to the point that i cry most nights wondering where on earth i went wrong. He was a little delayed when he had another development assessment last year just after his 4th birthday and they said he compares to an 18month old. He has improved since he has been in reception at school but not the behaviour. He is soo rude to people. I know most 4 year olds don’t have a filter but he really insults people and embarrasses me to the point i cannot take him out. He has the most embarrassing and awfull tantrums and meltdowns if he simply doesnt get his own way. He lashes out at people if he gets told off like kicking and punching and throwing things at people. Just before Christmas he punched my 76 year old nan in the face because she told him off because he told her he was going to break her tv. There is so much more to it and i am literally at my wits end with him. He has a good home, he has nutritious healthy meals everyday, he has love, warmth, everything he needs basically. He also has boundaries and discapline and i am strict with him and my 7 year old. But I feel i am getting no where with him. I have tried everything from reward charts, time out, taking things off him to the time out step etc. In school tho he is really good. Well tonight i literally snapped at him and my 7 year old. All day for the last week or so all i have had to do is put up with my 4 years whinging and moaning simply because he cannot get his own way and he has been soo cheeky to me and telling me no all the time and he will not listen to me so tonight whilst the pair of them were kicking 10 bell of crap out of each other and literally soaking my bathroom during bathtime i snapped and told my 4 year old that he will is going to live with his daddy because i have had enough. They both started crying and cuddling each other and they both went to bed crying and now they are in the 1 bed cuddling each other. I feel so shit and bad because i obviously didnt mean it, i was just so stressed and had enough. I dont want to say sorry to him because i know he will play on that and make it worse. I don’t know what to do. I dont want him thinking I don’t love him and im going to ship him off to his dads. Because i do love him and as much as he annoys me and stresses me out i would be absolutely lost without him. I feel so bad and not really sure what i should say or do now. I know some of you may not agree with what i said but I feel guilty enough as it is and i will never say that to him again. I just need advice on what i can do now and how to make them feel better.

Thanks for reading xx
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