Hello could i get a private post for the mums advice PRIVATE page please? Me &…
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Hello could i get a private post for the mums advice PRIVATE page please?
Me & my partner have been together 3 nearly 4 years! We have a 2 year old daughter and an 8 week old baby girl! We were talking last night and he turned round & told me he has no bond with our second daughter and he has a better bond with our first! I bottle fed my first and am breast feeding my second! Our first daughter was a dream easy happy little baby and would settle for anyone our second daughter is a diffrent story and is such a rustly fractious baby and only will only really settle for mummy! I have felt from day one like he cant be bothered with her and doesnt have a connection but when he said it i was taking back so hurt upset angry when i said i knew and when i had been saying it all these weeks he was lying to me telling me to stop being silly! He went on to say he was joking and he loved her etc! Everytime she cries and he has her while i am cleaning up or that i can hear him huffing and puffing sighing etc & its really getting to me and i dont know how to help or change this! I feel like breastfeeding is having an impact but i am enjoying every minute of breastfeeding as its one thing i regretted after having my first! Any help and advice is greatly appretiated! Please no comments saying leave him as he is a fantastic dad to my girls and is an amazing partner and want to resolve this problem sooner rather than later so we dont end up with a bigger problem years down the line! Thankyou xx
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Sometimes men prefer when kids are more active and they can do stuff with. It may just take time, she’s still young. Also maybe it’s making him question him as a dad, so that’s why he might be huffing and puffing. As we all know, men don’t share their feelings as much so try not to make him feel bad about it. Ask him how it makes him feel… Just be supportive and he might feel better.
Men can also suffer from PND & it sounds like he may have that.
Would expressing your milk & letting him feed her be an option? Maybe he feels a bit pushed out (not at all suggesting this is what you’re doing)