Hi, please could I have a very privet post. It not about my children but I’m in …

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Hi, please could I have a very privet post. It not about my children but I’m in desperate need of advice and have no one to talk to.
It’s a long story but I will shorten it down best I can.
Basically when I had just turned 13 I met a ‘man’ that was 19 very nearly 20. He knew friend of mine from school. I got to know him when I was out with my friends we ‘hung out’ a few times. Anyway things got pretty full on and after a few days he was asking me to meet up alone with him but not to tell my friends or mum. He would ask me to meet in places like, behind the shops or at the back of garages. Things got really scary and he put more and more pressure on me. He gave me a phone with free calls from me to him and him to me. He took me back to his house one evening and told me he was going to have sex with me. I didn’t know much about what was going to happen but I knew i didn’t want to. Afterwards he told me to go home. He walked me most of the was and told me he was thankful for what I had done for him. It happened over and over with out anyone knowing but me being terrified every time. It got to the point he would wait round the corner every morning and walk me to school, and be there when I finished to be sure I wasn’t talking to anyone else. He would make me have my phone on call so he could hear what I was doing all of the time. He used to get me drunk so I didn’t know what was going on. I started missing school because he would be round the corner waiting for me and take me back to his flat. This went on for months and months with details I couldn’t go in to, he started not only doing the first thing but got violent to a point I broke down in school while he was threatening me down the phone. My mum came to pick me up and took me home. But I couldn’t tell her in fear of being in trouble… Nothing has ever been done about it since. I’m now 23 and have 3 children of my own and I can’t take it any more. It is eating away at me inside. I want to feel normal but I don’t. I still think about it every day. I dream about it. The memories won’t go away and I don’t know what to do. It’s killing me!
I’m in the uk
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