Please could you post this privately I need to get this out of my head. So today…
[ad_1]
Please could you post this privately I need to get this out of my head. So today something really terrible happened I feel like I’m unworthy of being a mother and like I’ve put my babies life in danger by being completely stupid. We came home from the shop had just brought a fresh box of nappies and was about to put my 10 month old baby down for a nap. So I grabbed a knife from the kitchen to open the box, took out a nappy and left the knife on the tv unit and took my baby upstairs. Fast forward 2 hours I’m trying to get though all my housework washing etc (my OH works ridiculously long hours so I’m pretty much alone 24/7) and then my baby wakes up when I’m in the middle of things so I change her and bring her downstairs. I needed to make a quick call to my husband so set my daughter down in the living room and am busy on the phone, I then turn around and to my horror, I can’t even write it without feeling sick, she’s holding the knife that I left on the TV unit 😞😞 she must of only just picked it up and I obviously dropped my phone and took it straight from her cried for what feels like ages hugging her. It was a small kitchen knife luckily is quite old so isn’t as sharp as it once was but still isn’t the point anyway I’m looking for things to make me feel better but nothing does. I feel so useless all day and all night has been going through my head what could of happened to her had I not of turned around when I did or how I could be so STUPID to leave something out like that. Isn’t that basic parenting, and I can’t even manage that. I’m so beyond distraught. Even though she didn’t hurt herself she could of done really badly and it’s all my fault. How could I be so stupid? She’s my world, we haven’t been apart since the day she was born and I would do anything for her. I have no excuses. I feel like my head is constantly buzzing because I’m on my own all the time doing all the housework and absolutely everything for my daughter. How could I let this happen. Please someone just tell me how I can try and get this out of my mind I can’t sleep because I feel so sick to my stomach and just feel like a failure. My husband just doesn’t seem to understand. I told him I feel like I need more help as I’m obviously tired and he just thinks I’m trying to turn it round on him for ‘fucking up’. Maybe I am. Please help me 😔 can’t stop watching her sleep. Sorry It’s such a long post, not sure what I’m after as I can’t imagine anyone being as big of a failure as me right now. Thank you x
[ad_2]
Source
