Teach Your Children Bullying Can Lead To This

All decent parents hope their children are kind to others, even to children they may not like. But still, many children and teens (and even adults) end up victims of rude or mean comments, or even bullying.
The consequences of bullying can be depression or  even leading to suicide or self-harm by the victim.

Anti-bullying plea
One mum is speaking out, pleading with parents to not only monitor the way their kids are using smartphones and tablets, but to also teach them empathy after her daughter ended up hospitalized as a result of bullying.
In a Facebook post, she writes: “Our beautiful girl has been subjected to some awful bullying at school. It’s been a very private 7 months for us, dealing with this, immediate family only.

“In this age of social media, children (because they are children) think it’s ok to send hateful messages (to me also along with their parents who won’t take responsibility) without consequences. I’ve had calls from these children calling me an old hag because I’ve defended our daughter, approached parents and pleaded with them to talk with their children and ask them to stop. I’ve even approached the children themselves, but been threatened by parents with harassment.”

The department of education in America doesn’t expel children from schools for bullying, as they say: ‘Every child is entitled to an education.’

What about our child’s entitlement?

She’s been sent home numerous times after self harming at school. She’s not allowed a pencil sharpener as she takes the blade out and cuts herself.

The department of education also told me: ‘You should teach your child how to be resilient against bullies.’ Yes, they said that.

Our girl has had a video taken of her sitting at her desk at school, legs slightly open, with a lovely caption about the smell. It was posted to snapchat. I spent 90 mins with the police as they tried to determine if it was photographing and distribution of pornographic material. Yes, a 12 year old can be prosecuted if the content breaches certain criteria. Sadly our daughter’s didn’t, but she was subjected to weeks of ridicule. Repercussions? The girl who posted the video lost her playtime. The person who took the video? Nothing, because no one would tell who it was.

It’s ok to verbally attack at school because they can get away with it via a screen; so think the same will happen in the real world.

Last week, we spent over 5 hours in A&E with psychiatrists, doctors and nurses, because our girl ‘had a plan to commit suicide’. On Tuesday, I am in court applying for a VRO against a 12 year old to keep her (the bully) away from our beautiful girl—all because parents don’t accept responsibility for their children and schools can only do so much.
“Our beautiful girl has been subjected to some awful bullying at school. It’s been a very private 7 months for us, dealing with this, immediate family only.

The school has a safety plan for the bullied child, our daughter. And the bully? She only loses break and lunch privileges. This is infant school punishment!

Please, in this awful age of social media (or anti social media as we call it) check your children’s messages. Their devices are a privilege, nothing more, nothing less, so please make sure they are being polite and respectful in their messages. Teach the children to ‘talk’ not use text or social media to air their differences.

Bullying affects the whole family, not just the bullied. It needs to stop and it needs to stop now! Please feel free to share.”

She further explains that not only have parents been non-receptive to her pleas, but the school has done little to curb the problem. Her daughter has been self-harming as a result of the ongoing bullying, which often occurs through social media via smartphones.

The problem with smartphones and social media
The world has become a different place over the last ten years. Most kids have a smartphone— and are still learning appropriate behavior versus inappropriate behavior. It’s easier to type on a computer or into a smartphone something mean to someone than it is to say it in person.

Hiding behind a screen can give a false sense of power over another person. Kids are not yet mature enough to consider the repercussions of saying cruel and hateful things to another person via their smartphone.
Teens tend to gang up on one person and band together in their cruelty.

Parents must monitor and teach children
If your child has a smartphone and/or social media accounts, it’s your responsibility to monitor what your child is saying to other people and what is being said back. Is your child bullying someone else? Are they being bullied? If the answer is yes, you must take action to stop it. Besides bullying, there is major concerns about sexting and sending pornography in texts or through apps.

If your child is using social media and smartphones to make bad choices, you need to work to teach them what is and is not acceptable behavior. Set up consequences and follow through. Does that mean losing smartphone privileges for a short time or longer period? Do other restrictions need to be set up? Do they need to apologize to another person for things they have said or done? Follow through and be firm.
Empathy

Some children naturally have empathy, others must be taught. If your child is hurting others, try asking them how they’d feel in the reverse situation— were they are on the receiving end of bullying. Try to help them see how what they say or do can affect others and how it can hurt them. Help them set up ways they can show more kindness and empathy to others outside their social circles, such as finding those who need a friend or sticking up for someone who is being bullied.