Can I have a private post please… My self and ex broke up when my son was 6 m…

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Can I have a private post please…
My self and ex broke up when my son was 6 months old he is now 9years old. His grandmother(my sons dad’s mother) is a little over bearing when it comes to my son and likes to think of her self as his parent. My sons farther is a “let’s follow my mates”kind of man and pops up when it suits him. My sons dad and grandmother argue all the time about who dose what on there own time & how bad they are for my son (in front of my son) then they tell on each other to me and tell me not to tell the other …. so long story short I’ve moved on got married and have had other children but I’m constantly getting…. he said.. she said …. so recently I have been giving my son the option. If his dad calls up saying he wants my son the next day, I ask my son “daddy wants to know would you like to go out with him tomorrow?” same goes when his grandmother asks and he makes the choice. When his dad or grandmother use to ask,I would normally check the calendar and make plans for my son but then my sons dad and grandmother would argue about who is unfit to have him with him there !!!(every time )It’s now lead to my son going to therapy once a week as he is struggling with self confidence and it’s editing his school work (not happy when I found out) my son broke down and I was called in my son didn’t want to upset them by telling me as they told him he was not to tell me …so now I ask my son for his opinion and give him a choice so he is not blackmailed … my question is am I doing right by letting him making his own choices when it come to them ( I think of it as a triangle and I’m trying to concentrate on the middle witch is my son and then argue on there own )
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