Can I have some advice please may be abit of a long one..
So last week my partner was here, everything was fine! We redecorated our living room, I gave him money for his birthday so we’d been shopping, our home was no different than usual.. He seemed like he was getting abit down so I asked what was wrong he said he was just worrying because he needs a job and had got himself into some trouble and needed to make money to pay off this mess (to which I didn’t really feel sympathetic at all he walked out of his job 2 weeks ago and he got himself into the mess) I tried to cheer him up but it didn’t work anyway Friday comes and he says he’s going in to work to sort things out this is 1.30pm leaving me at home with our 2 children and his oldest child he came in at 3am after no contact all day he’s been fighting so his face was abit of a mess, he was telling me how he’s failed me on so many occasions and messes up my life trying to hold my hand and stuff.. Saturday comes and he was having a meltdown I asked what was wrong and he said he needed to see his dad as he was the only one that could help him sort out his head so I went to pick up our oldest child from my mums and get us some stuff for breakfast I came home and he’d gone to his fathers (whom I unfortunately don’t get along with) he came home just after 6pm and obviously I was angry (because he’d just gone again and I had been left with the children again!) so I went up for a bath and an early night my son came in telling me that grandad has promised to take them out the next day which was total news to me so I asked my partner and he said yes he said he will take them out for food alls I said was it would of been nice to have run that past me instead of my child telling me I told him I wouldn’t if said no but it would of been nice to have known.. He started saying I was being controlling etc etc (bearing in mind his dad is only ever around when there’s trouble he picks my partner and children up and then drops them all from the highest height and then disappears for weeks until there’s something else to pop up for) so Sunday morning we had a huge row he called me all the names under the sun I’m a control freak I’m this I’m that (bearing in mind we’ve been together 7years our oldest child nearly 5 iv never spent a night away from my kids apart from giving birth to my 2nd and the 2 occasions my son stayed out last week) he’s cheated, lied, left me pregnant, joined dating sites, walked in and out of jobs, watched me borrow money for our sons shoes while he spend £700 on himself! So Sunday we argued and he left and went to his dads (I still got left with his oldest child and her grandad had to come and get her to take her home) and I didn’t hear a single thing from him until Monday night where he was saying I was dangerous for him to be around, and I emotionally blackmail him, that I need to take a long look at myself and I’m pushing him to the edge etc etc.. Now I’m sat here like what???? 2 weeks ago he wanted to marry me.. Iv forgave him for every single thing he’s done, I sit at home cleaning our house making sure there’s food on the table, I provide everything the house, children and we need! I don’t get a bath or to go toilet without atleast one of our children, he screams shouts and swears at all of us all the time, I don’t ask him to do anything anymore more he sees it as me moaning so I do it myself, I do the school runs and everything else so where has all this came from really??? On Monday I was at my hospital appointment and happened to see his “mate” who he’s in trouble with who informed me that he owes twice as much as he told me he does which makes me think that because he knows he can’t get that amount if money he’s run away to avoid it? But he’s saying no it’s all the above about me.. Anybody else as confused as me.. Do u think it’s just time to move on now and cut the bullshit I do love him but I think he has too many issues of his own to accept his responsibilities! Or should I try and change how I am? Sorry it’s long but I just wanted to explain why I’m so confused, thank you anybody that’s took the time to read and advise x