Hi please can I have a private post? Please no judging I’m in absolute bits even…
[ad_1]
Hi please can I have a private post?
Please no judging I’m in absolute bits even writing this 😭💔
I’m a single parent to 2 amazing small children, I am struggling really bad financially & emotionally to care for them enough to give them what they deserve in life, my situation is really complicated, I have no family that are able to help and their father contributes nothing towards their upbringing and isn’t allowed contact due to severe domestic abuse. I’m heartbroken at even considering this but I feel adoption maybe the only way they can live a happy fulfilling life. Does anyone have any advice or experience with adoption they can share good and bad? Xx
[ad_2]
Source
Hi please can you reply this to the lady who posted about having her kids adopted. I have been where you are in an almost identical situation. It’s hard and draining emotionally and financially but the kids are what get you through it in the end. 18 months ago I was at rock bottom thinking things would never get any better but they have and the same will happen for you. If it wasn’t for my kids who have turned out to be my best friends through all the hard times I would not be here writing this. I still don’t have much of a social life or family to help me so nothing has changed in that respect but I have my kids and as hard as they are life would be pretty lonely without them. Please don’t give up on them they can help you more than you realise xxx
Hi can you reply to my post please? Thank you all for your supportive comments I appreciate every single one of them💖 I have a social worker and a key worker and although they know my situation I don’t get any kind of practical help from them, I have no one for childcare care close by to get a break and the only friend I have takes advantage of my kind nature and asks me to have her children regularly which also adds to the pressure, so I am distancing myself from her. I’ve been left with a mountain of debt thanks to my ex gambling so I’m also paying all that back minimally but I just can’t seem to get back on my feet even whilst claiming all the benefits I’m entitled to, it just seems like a constant viscious circle that I can’t get out of, I’d love to be able to take my children on holiday & buy a car to be able to create great memories with them but I’ve come to the realization that won’t ever happen which I why I think I’m being so hard on myself. I love my children so much but I constantly feel like a failure as a parent and the thought of this is knotting up my stomach so much that I can’t stop crying. I am applying every day for jobs as I know that would help me massively but so far I haven’t heard anything back, but I’d lack the confidence to attend an interview even if offered one as I have holes in my shoes and I can’t afford to buy any clothes or anything I just don’t want me or my children to live like this anymore. Why should they just exist in my misery when they could live happily with a couple that can provide them with everything they need? I just can’t see any other way out 😞 I feel like I’ve already exhausted all other avenues. but I won’t make any rash decisions. Thank you all again xxx
Adoption is very final and I feel you might benefit from talking to professionals, sure start, health visitor, other family agencies in your area and maybe your GP. See what agency support there is whilst you explore your full options and whether or not you decide to continue you might benefit from counselling. It’s natural to feel overwhelmed and alone but there is help available and ways of making friends. My honest opinion is that children require our presence more than presents and if they already have a loving bond with you and they’re happy you might be seeing what you would like to be able to give them rather than what they actually want from life. Only you can know if this is right for you and them so please look into how you will feel if you go ahead and what life will be like without them because once it’s done there’s no rewind. I really wish you all the best and would be happy to be a friend if only online xxx
Firstly the fact that your are even feeling this means you are good parent. You are trying to put your children first which is what every good parent does. I suggest you speak to a doctor, health visitor or social services. I suspect you may be suffering with some sort of PND. I suffered awfully after my first & everything else just kind of spiralled & I couldn’t see a way out. Your children clearly mean the world to you so please seek professional help before you look into adoption… that’s a very final decision & if I’m honest you sound like a very capable loving mother. Good luck with everything & if you need someone to talk too please PM me. I’d be happy to listen & help if I can xx
I’m sure it is really hard but I’m sure they would rather be with yiu and struggle than be without yiu and have money. Make sure your getting all the right benefits make use of food banks free things from Facebook such as clothes toys etc xx
I’m here if you need a chat? Your not alone theres always a listening ear available and your local health visitor or doctor can direct you to help and support groups plus offer a range of help hun! Stay strong your doing way better than you think 💖
Where are you based hun? Im sure one of us mums would happily meet up and have a day out/coffee with you. Your not a failure at all i was at rock bottom i saw a counseller and manage to get my head straight it was hard work but i did it. Are you a size 12-14 clothes? I have a few tops that i was guna take charity shop this weekend you could have them if u want. Dont give up you have done the hardest part the only way is up ❤️ Also memorries dont have to be in a car you could go “bug hunting” in the woods go for walks/ part stuff that is free. ❤️X ETA – if you have any old board games you could play those, those are some of the stuff i remember as a child xx
Oh this is heartbreaking, please don’t ever feel like you are alone, to me you sound like an amazing person just for speaking out about how you feel. If you ever need to chat you can always message me. If you are close to where I live I am happy to help you too. Xxx💜
Speak to health visitor ask about nursery for kids give u a little break, maybe speak to your doctor too.
Every mum feels like there doing it wrong at some point don’t let it pull u down, look at your little ones faces and fight.
Are u getting all benefits your entitled to? Go to citizens advice.
Have u applied for maintenance for kids?
Go on fb feed your family for £1 a day. Cheap meal ideas.
Apply for warm home discount towards electricity bill.
xx
Where are you based? I’d be happy to help you with the kids so you can have time to yourself. I know life is hard at the moment my mum was a single parent with two kids she was a part time cleaner in a care home for many years until she started her own successful business. It’s just a matter of hanging in there do not give up on your kids their dad has so you’re the only person they have. Even though we had hard times when I was a kid the constant person who was there for us was our mum I worship the ground she walks on I would do anything for her. She’s made me the person I am today and it’s all thanks to her. Your kids will be the same. If you need anything my inbox is always open happy to help with clothes and shoes also xx
Kids dont need anything but food .. and a loving mummy .. if you stop worrying about what you can’t give them and just love the small stuff things will work out .. see a counsellor who can help you get in contact with mummy groups .. stop beating yourself up bet your kids are so happy 💖
I’ve never adopted my children so I can’t give any stories. But I do know that adoption is something you should really think about fully before making a drastic action and once it’s done you can’t go back, and I’d have a feeling you’d feel guilt and would want your babies back home with you. No matter what hardship you are going through they want and need YOU, their mum. Every parent goes through hard times but you pull out together as a family. They are your little people and they rely on you and I can see why you feel like this but honestly, I wouldn’t do it. But it is your life and I’m just a stranger, but please think before doing it x
Call social services and ask for help. Maybe you just need some support. They will help you keep your kids and help you as a mother. Worth a try x
First of all our doing a fab job make sure u r receiving all benefits you are entitled to free nursery places school dinners etc see if there is some local to help u budget there are some sites on Facebook feed your family for £1 a day is a good one..there are food banks that can help children just need love somewhere safe and secure and a full belly anything else is just stuff u have kept them safe taking them from there abusive father well done for doing that…maybe a trip to the doctors u might have a bit of depression and talking to someone can help…are there any local support groups u can take your children to make new friends? Or even a trip to the park I always chat to other parents some will be in the same boat as u ur doing amazing don’t give up it will get better sensing lots of love and hugs xx
It doesn’t mater what they have or have not at least they have their mum. That is the most important thing for them. Don’t compare yourself to other people. Go get some help from doctor you sound like you could be depressed.
I’m a single mum to 3 kids 4-3-1 and if it wasn’t for social services I wouldn’t have coped and I would have given up I was in a dv relationship I also have no support from family and only have 2 friends but I have no financial support from anyone social have been involved 2 years now and I’m almost done with them but I feel I am a much better mum and cope much better because of there support although I wish I hadn’t needed it I did and it worked don’t give up your baby’s want you around more then anything or anyone please try everything you can because adoption is so final there is no going back from that here if you need a chat much love hun xxx
I’m a single mum to two girls one who has learning disabilities. There dad pays nothing towards then & ive done it all on my own. I suffer with really bad anxiety& there’s been days where I’ve thought I couldn’t do it & they were better of without me but 3 years on I’m still here & still raising my beautiful girls! You CAN DO it Hun look at how far you’ve come already! Feel free to message me x
A family member of mine has been through this an every day is a heart breaker she misses them at the time she couldnt give them the life she wanted them to have the older child has rebelled an been put back into care after being adopted 7 years please don’t do something ul regret for the rest of ur life as long as they go to nursery /school fed an have the love off u thats more than enough for any child u wil suffer for the rest if ur life if living on benefits is why u struggle part time job may bring in better money good luck
So sorry you feel this way huni 🙁 its very hard being a single parent, but I bet your children are happy & healthy and have unconditional love from you. Its so tough going it alone, if you need a friend or support feel free to message me. Things get on top of us sometimes but I’m pretty sure your kiddies are proud of you no matter what <3 maybe speak to your doctor depression is a mighty nasty illness & can put allsorts of thoughts into our minds, I split with my daughters dad a year ago & the first few months where very tough I also thought I wasn't good enough for my lo & that she would be better with people who could financially support her & give her a great future but the love & strength of my daughter showed me that she values life no matter how we live it <3 all the best xxxx
DONT MAKE ANY RATIONAL DECISIONS! I’m sure you’re doing amazing they are lucky to have you! We all get days where we can’t cope but don’t make a decision you’ll regret. Your children need their mum and you saying this just proves how much of a brilliant mum you are! Go to your nearest job centre and make sure you’re claiming all of the right benefits, have a sort out and sell things you don’t use anymore, buy second hand and shop in Aldi. You can do this!!!!! ❤️
I can’t imagine how you are feeling right now 😢Do you have any friends with children you can meet up with for a chat and support? Have you spoken to the doctors about how you are feeling, if not I would deffo make an appointment they will be able to help, social service aren’t always there to take children away they can help you get the support you need…I know it may seem like you can’t provide for your children but all they need is clothes on their back (I shop in charity shops yesterday I got 3paors of jeans 2 tops and a jumper for just £1.50 for my littlen all in excellent condition) food on the table ( food banks are always happy to help those in need) a roof over there head (you can claim benefits if your not working ) and LOVE anything else is just materialistic.. if you want a chat inbox me xx
What age are your children and what size clothes ? I’ve just moved and was going to take a bag of clothes and bits to the charity shop so I will have a look might even be some clothes that for you and can send them to you,I also don’t mind buying a pair of shoes either. Let me know if your interested x
Look how many offers of support you have already just from an anonymous post 👆👆 imagine how much better life might feel if you reach out to people closer and had support from agencies and made friends closer to you 💖💖💖💖💖
I had to put my son up for adoption for the better of his life. Message if you need.
If you live on the south coast of NSW and need a friend message me? Sometimes with good emotional support everything else seems to get better x